If you "want to be a REAL Man" or if you "want a REAL MAN"

So this will be a blog of my opinions, my standards and my beliefs. I do not want to condemn, judge or hurt anyone's feelings in the process of sharing my heart and what the Lord wants me to share.

I am a 45 year old male that has been with my junior-high sweetheart for almost 30 years. The Lord also has had a sense of humor in my life and not only let me be raised with 6 sister but he gave me 4 daughters (plus many more that just don't share my dna). I have lived my adult life trying to always please the Lord and I have tried to love my wife as Christ loved the church and we know he layed down his life for her. So, I have come to a junction in my life/parenting that the time is approaching for me to turn my daughters over to a REAL man (please NO applications). I say these things not to do anything but encourage, encourage young men to be MEN and young women to wait for a REAL man.

I would never say that there is 1 type of real man because we come in all kinds of packages. I am also NOT saying that there is real men out there that are perfect and have NEVER made a mistake, makes mistakes or will make mistakes because we live in the real world and sorry folks but we are human. But I am saying that if we as men don't have a mark to hit, then we won't hit anything at all !!

I have the privilege of mentoring many young men and it is 1 of the many passions that the Lord has giving me and I hear the same things over and over again. You want a wife but are prepared... spiritually, financially or emotionally, but you say I REALLY want a wife. Please listen to me, I am not saying that you need a portfolio or a degree from a bible school but you need to be heading in the direction of being able to take care of a family. Let me tell you, most of our species need an AMAZING woman (like my wife is) to birth us out to be the REAL men that the Lord wants us to be for THEM and then for others around us. I was married at 20 years old and Teddi was 17, do you think we had every duck in a row - NO - not even close. I wasn't even barely saved, I made $5.00 an hour and I had 1 thing on my mind. We have made it this far and we wouldn't change a thing but I want better for you. Better comes with a big price but an amazing woman will be worth it.

I thank God for wisdom - He says to ask Him and it will be given to you. Seek wisdom, seek God to make you a real man, and you woman - wait, not for perfection because only Jesus is, but wait for a real man!! For any of you woman that have a man in your life that doesn't live up to your wants and desires I would encourage you to pray, pray that the Lord would mold and change your lives together to reflect HIM. I know I wouldn't be 1/2 the man I am if it wasn't for a wife that spoke blessings over me, encouraged me, prayed for me and wouldn't stop hounding God until I became the Real Man that she hoped for and desired. I have come such a long way but I hope I am never satisifed in my relationship with the Lord and with my wife.

Below is a letter from a young man that isn't much older then I was when I married. He is a friend of our families and it is a privilege to know him and to hear him share his heart like he does. He wrote this letter to his wife - a wife that he doesn't even have yet. I could NOT write anything better then what he wrote. The things he says are things that come out of a REAL man's heart. There are MANY things in this letter that I am to my wife and family and some things that I want to be. I believe that if you read this letter and it doesn't stir you up to become this type of REAL man to a woman 1 day - then you have NO business looking, talking or thinking about a wife (my opinion). But if it stirs you to want to learn and grow to be a man, that I believe is a man after God's own heart, then allow God to teach you. Get a good mentor to pour into your life that has a Godly successful marriage. One of my desires is to train men to become the men that the Lord wants them to be. So enjoy this letter and be challenged (like I was), be encouraged and seek after God's own heart and you will become a REAL
man. Bless you all, Ray


Dear future wife,

It's almost 3 in the morning and I can't stop thinking about you.

I'm not exactly sure who you are or where you live…

but there are some things you should know...

I love Jesus with all my heart; I know you will too…

When I say I love Him, I mean… I REALLY LOVE HIM.

And His church.

I plan on loving you like I love His church.

I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm not perfect

(ha, I guess that's obvious).

But I will choose to pursue righteousness and holiness in all I do.

I will be man of integrity. A trustworthy man. A strong leader.

I promise to be the best husband you could ever ask for in every way.

I look forward to raising little sons and daughters for the kingdom of heaven.

And you can rest assure that I will treat you like a princess.

My name means blessed guardian. I plan on living up to my name and being the blessed guardian and protector of your heart and emotions.

I will never cheapen your value by calling other women names reserved for you. Never.

I will not so much think a thought about another woman in a way reserved for you.

I will tell you that you are the most beautiful girl in the world and mean it.

I will tell you that there is no one like you and mean it.

I will never ever cheapen what we have by giving it to others.

I honor you too much for that. You will know it.

I never plan on making you submit to me. I only plan to be a good enough leader to earn your honor and respect so that you can trust me even when things are unclear.

I will never abuse you.

I plan on being open and honest about everything in my life. I know I can trust you.

I know that we will probably have arguments, but no fighting.

I plan on being civil and controlled when speaking, I trust you will do the same.

And if things get a little heated… our love will be too great to let the sun go down on it.

Making up will be wonderful.

I will wait as long as required to find you. I really mean, until the Lord brings you to me.

I am asking for a whole lot. I'm not even going try to lie to you.

I've known for a long time that my life would never be "normal".

I know that will excite you.

I feel that we are going to travel together. A lot.

In fact, you are key and essential to what will be our ministry.

I will sing to you. If you want.

I will open your door for you.

I will pray with you.

I will worship God with you.

I will read to our kids and pray with them.

I will do what I say I'm going to do.

I will admit when I'm wrong.

I will do everything I can to help your dreams come true.

I will study the word and share my revelation with you often.

I will be patient with you.

I will ask for directions.

I've had these dreams, I'll tell you about them later, but they make me smile.

Songs, poems… I just want to explode.

There is so much going through my mind… I can't type it all.

It would take me all night.

Hopefully we'll talk soon, then it will be easier.

I may not be the best looking guy.

I may not be the richest man.

I may not be the perfect guy.

But no one, I promise, no one will ever love you like I can. Not on earth anyway.

Well… I suppose I'll stop here for tonight.

I have church tomorrow morning and I want to be alert for Jesus.

I wish you could be there with me.

Maybe you will be… maybe not.

Maybe you don't even speak English. Ha. Who knows.

Oh yeah, God knows… we'll just wait on Him, ok?

Again, I don't know who you are or where you live, but I want you to know…

I'm praying for you.

You are beautiful.

Let's change the world together.


Forever yours,